Monday, August 20, 2012

Adult movie

What are they thinking when the light goes out in their eyes?

A compromise is made.

I recognize it. I've made it, too.

There's a set of the jaw, a squaring of the shoulders, a toss of the hair meant to convey indifference. "This is life, and life is hard. I do what I have to do."

There's always a power struggle. They want to believe that they have some control.

They pretend they're aloof. They pretend they're being worshipped somehow -- by the guy, by the camera, by the viewer.

But worship doesn't look like this.

They want to believe they can handle it, that they're a buoyant boat bobbing up on the sea of life.

It's always up, never down. They can't think of down. Down brings tears, and those are out of place here.

There's only room in the frame for enthusiastic moans, for "o" faces, for licking of lips, for closing eyes in something that looks like bliss.

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